Effective Prayer: Seven Key Habits for Spiritual Growth

Most people who believe in God, whether Christians, Muslims, Hindus, Bahais, or Jews, pray at least occasionally. For many, prayer is central to their spiritual journey. However, like anything else we do, prayer can be effective or ineffective. 

       The key to prayer is desire for God. St. Augustine’s classic Christian definition of prayer is “lifting up our hearts and minds to God.” In this sense, whatever we do, whether working, playing, or even just walking the dog, can be prayer if we use it to connect to God.

       Another key to effective prayer is silence, both internal and external. It helps to pray in a quiet environment and to take a moment to still the constant cacophony of thought before beginning. However, God can be found in the midst of noise and chaos as well.

       Having a special designated place and time can be helpful, but where, when, how often and how long you pray depends entirely on your schedule and whatever proves fruitful for you.

       In preparing to pray it helps to get into a comfortable posture, whether sitting or kneeling, and then follow the A.C.T.S. formula: Adoration (instead of starting with requests bring to mind God’s glory: e.g. “Almighty God, source of all being, truth and life…”), Confession (examine your conscience, repent of and surrender to God all negatives such as unforgiveness and deceit), Thanksgiving ( remember all God’s blessings), Supplication (pray for the needs of others). 

       It is also okay to pray for your own needs, as long as this does not become the major focus of your prayer. As well, the Jewish scriptures say that if you pray for someone else’s need and you have a similar need, God will supply your need as well. You don’t even have to ask for it.

       There are seven habits of people who are highly effective at prayer:

       First, their prayer is based on their own experience of God, so they are praying from their heart as well as their head, not just mumbling prayers composed by someone else. 

       Secondly, their prayer is simple and direct. Good prayer is possible for anyone, not just the religious professionals. You don’t have to have a doctorate in theology to pray well.

       Next, their prayer is bold, strong, and durable. They boldly approach God because they know God as a God of compassion. They do not timidly address God as if God’s grace did not outweigh their failings. Also, their prayer gets stronger, not weaker, during the hard times.

       Fourth, their prayer is deep and loving. It involves a radical commitment to God and others, particularly their enemies. For them, prayer is broad and hospitable. It welcomes all human beings, all creatures, and the whole planet into their hearts. It is never just about their own little group.

       Fifth, they listen to God as much as they talk, and they take this listening attitude into their daily life. Throughout their day they are sensitive to the subtle promptings of the Spirit. In this sense, they “pray always” as St. Paul exhorted Christians to do.

       Sixth, their prayer is socially conscious. They are particularly aware of the marginalized, the people the rest of us often forget about because they drop through society’s cracks. Their prayer takes in the social issues of the day. It is never just about “God and me.”

       Lastly, their prayer is integrating. It integrates their faith with their life, their contemplation with their action. After they pray, they do something that addresses what they prayed about. As someone said, the person who is effective at prayer “prays as if it all depended on God and then acts as if it all depended on them.” They know that what the world needs now is effective prayer harnessed to effective social action.

Bruce Tallman is a spiritual director and educator of adults in religion. brucetallman.com

QUESTIONING PATRIARCHY

We are made from and for love

the intensity of divine love never varies

God loved us equally: before God made us/

as God loves us now/as God will love us in the life to come

 

healthy parents do not want their children

just to think rightly about Mommy and Daddy

they want a personal relationship with them

and for their children to thrive

 

similarly, God did not create us

just to think rightly about God (doctrine)

God created us to have a personal relationship with us

and wants us to be fully alive –

“The glory of God is man and woman fully alive”

– St Irenaeus

“I have come so they might have life

and have it abundantly” – Jesus

 

in How to Read the Bible and Still Be a Christian

John Dominic Crossan wrote “Accept the nonviolent Jesus

as the true image of the nonviolent God

and reject the subversion of Jesus and God

into violence”

 

similarly, gender subversion needs to be rejected

where “woman” in both religion and civilization

was associated with “matter” and “nature”

and “man” with “spirit” and “culture”-

this gender division was an ordering/organizing principle

which created hierarchical structures and relationships

 

but God’s Work like God’s Wisdom

turns the world upside down

our challenge is to join God’s Work

by challenging the status quo/

being as revolutionary/prophetic as Jesus

 

faced with the silence of God/

the silence of his own soul/

and the silence of the souls entrusted to him (novices)

Thomas Merton realized eighty years ago

the most practical thing would be to stop asking questions

but today he would encourage us to ask questions

about sexuality/gender/patriarchy.

THE SHADOW AND THE INNER RIVER

Jesus said “Blessed are the peacemakers”

however, to work for and sustain peace

you have to be at peace in your own heart

not angry and hateful of the “wrongdoers” –

if you fight evil with your own evil

you will simply replace one evil with another.

 

You cannot deal effectively with the

hurt/anger/shadow/jealousy/deceit in others

until you have dealt with these things in yourself –

then there is no judgement/condescension toward others.

 

A fruitful way of discovering your shadow

is to identify with one scripture figure:

Mary or Martha/the prodigal son or his older brother –

the one you don’t identify with is your shadow

and can teach you inner transformation.

 

According to Paul Tillich in The Courage to Be

there are three forms of inner transformation:

the courage to be vs not be

(to choose life not death)

the courage of faith vs meaninglessness

(to trust that it all somehow makes sense)

the courage to accept God’s acceptance of you

vs condemnation (to trust that God

is merciful/forgiving/your unconditional lover).

 

Teresa of Avila’s entire mystical theology

is about finding God’s Inner Flow/River of God within you

and stop wasting your time digging for water on your own –

let the Spirit do the work of transformation

and stop striving for perfection.

 

Silence and solitude are the heart of prayer –

they allow us to: go within and listen to God

let God shine light into our shadow

stop being driven by our noisome world

which incessantly clamors for our attention.

 

Without silence and solitude

the Spirit has no room to make its home in us

and is forced to vacate the premises

of our soul.